whatever, i’m going to be a hermit.

I don’t really have a set topic that I’m going to blog about today, so this might end up being some bullshit.

I currently do not have a job.  That pretty much blows and lowers my self worth by 99%.  It really sucks, and I don’t even have the “well I’ll just focus on my kids and family more” excuse because I was not dumb enough to sustain life in this womb.  That’s something that’s been pissing me off lately.  No, not the fact that I didn’t have kids yet and I’m almost 30 so I might as well just kill myself…. wait.  I went on a tangent there.  Here’s what I mean.  You know how stupid people have lots of kids?  And poor people?  They love having kids.  Well even the stupidest people who are always clogging up your Facebook with their crap about how precious their kids are, even when they feel like losers (or maybe they DON’T ever feel like losers, because they’re not smart enough to even analyze their own existence), they can always say “well I am a parent and it is the most rewarding and important job in the world.”  I didn’t even do that.  I know it’s because I’m smart enough to have analyzed my life and thought “well I am not set up right to have kids currently and I’d like to make more money first to provide a stable life for them.”  Unlike a lot of retards who are all “what, I thought you only got pregnant during your period?”  who just pop out kids and don’t even understand why.  No forethought goes into it.  It’s just “well I guess I’m pregnant then.”  Fuck them.  And some people have ugly babies.  I’m just saying.

The other thing about not having a job right now is that I have no schedule.  I don’t have to wake up on time for anything.  I used to go to bed always before midnight and get the proper amount of sleep to function as a human being the next day.  Now I’m just…. awake.  Really late.  I stay up late internetting or watching TV and then when I want to relax, I watch 2 or 3 episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO Go on the Aerobed in the spare room.  Yeah I live my life the way I want, wooooo yeah!  Anyways, I’ve been watching so much of Curb Your Enthusiasm that it is getting into my dreamy-times.  Last night, I dreamed that I was at my old apartment building and making food with Alton Brown for my upstairs neighbor because I ruined something of hers or borrowed something.  Part of this food preparation was sending chicken down an ice luge to cool it off.  That’s a pretty smart idea, subconscious mind, I might have to try the chicken luge.  Anyways, I was about to go upstairs to bring my neighbor some food when I looked outside and saw one of my old bosses coming from the train station.  I went to go say hi to him, but then I looked to the left, and Larry David was there waiting for a cab.  I totally blew off saying hi to my boss and ran to Larry David and professed my love for him, his show and started saying a lot of things.  Then I saw that most of the cast of Seinfeld was there so I was talking to them too.  I told them about the chicken luge, and then Alton said we had to go because we had to finish cooking.  ~Fin~

Yesterday I had to turn my phone off because Jaclyn wouldn’t stop texting me.  If I ignore her texts, she’ll start sending me messages one word at a time.  I was in PetSmart and a woman was showing me the tiny kitten she’d rescued after Hurricane Irene and my phone is beeping every 3 seconds, as though I’m important or have many important messages.  I called her from the cat food isle and told her to stop texting me and I’m turning off my phone.  Then that gave me an idea.  I should turn off my phone more often.  I’m ready to retreat into my crabitat for the long haul.  Turn off the phone, draw the blinds, no more contact with people.

Well this post was useless.  Enjoy.

4 Responses to “whatever, i’m going to be a hermit.”

  1. Jaclyn

    You forgot to mention how hilarious and racist my texts were. I think you were too annoyed to appreciate the hilarity. But seriously. OMGSOFUNNY!!!

  2. Kizzy

    I want to hang out in the spare room with you! Save a spot for me on that aerobed, will ya?

  3. Elizabeth - Flourish in Progress

    I totally remember this time in my life. No job, no schedule, no moola. I hated it then. HATED IT. But looking back now, I learned a lot about myself in that time period. How to be creative with the cash I did have, who my real friends were, how many episodes of Fresh Prince I could watch before my eyes started to bleed….that kind of thing.

  4. Wag the Dad

    Don’t worry about it. God, to be schedule-less, jobless and kidless again for a week. Totally. Don’t sweat it. Just write some better posts.

    Actually, your post is fine, it’s just that you keep apologizing about it. Never apologize. John Wayne said that. I think it’s shitty advice for everywhere except writing.

    Write your shit, and then get out of the way. We will read it and go with it.

    Since you asked for my advice. Sorry about that.


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