I had been putting off writing this third and final-ish installment until I had my yearly surgical follow-up appointment. That should have been in February, but my procrastination and laziness meant that didn’t happen until today, May 3rd. So what is part three about? It’s all about THE WORK I did all year.
First of all, my one-year results: I am completely healthy and down 105 pounds. My lab results were impeccable. No health issues whatsoever, save for being slightly down in my vitamin D levels, but most people are.
Getting surgery was not the easy way out. It was not a quick fix. There’s still plenty of work for me to do before I even get to a “maintenance” phase of reaching my goal. What is my goal? My goal is to have a healthy BMI. I look good and I feel good, and I’m looking forward to looking even better and feeling even better.
I have put in so much work. Exercise is important, and that is finally a regular part of my life that I surprisingly enjoy. I belong to a pretty good gym in my town, but I just wasn’t attending it. So, in July I signed papers to quit. I was tired of wasting money. When I put in my resignation there, they said that I still had use of the facility for the whole following month of August. And somehow, after all this time of wasting money, I was determined to make the most of my money and started going to the gym 5 days a week. That was the mindset shift I needed, because within three weeks, I decided to cancel my cancellation. This was working for me now. And even better, my daughter really enjoyed playing in the childcare they had available there.
When I was 12 days post-op, I decided to try BodyPump, a barbell weight lifting class with lots of reps, for the first time. It was HARD as hell. I was hobbled for a solid week after that class! It honestly scared me off of that until I felt more ready. I didn’t try that class again until August. Now, it is legitimately my favorite exercise to do. The first time I tried it, the instructor Chris was energetic and perky and singing along and I hated it. Hated! “He is just too extra for me, I cannot deal.” But the truth was, HE was not the problem. It was my mindset. There is more mental work to do in this whole journey than I would have ever imagined. I’m so glad that my mindset has shifted and I can enjoy the different energies all the different instructors bring to the table. They’re all my favorite. No one is disliked or my least favorite – I love them all the best. I couldn’t have found this strength inside me without them pushing me along. I follow them on social media too, because following inspirational and strong people make me keep pushing.
I’ve had my ups and downs. I’ve had some plateaus. But this is truly the first time in my life that I feel as though success is inevitable. I will achieve my goals. I have other goals in mind too, and one that I actually accomplished last weekend: I participated in a 5k! Me, running! Can you believe it? I can’t. I don’t like running but I like crossing that finish line. It was a color/bubble run… it was cold and windy, but we still did it. By “we” I mean my daughter and I, along with some friends. As though running a 5k isn’t enough, I got the distinct honor of getting to carry my whining, stubborn child when she didn’t feel like running or walking along. She weighs a whopping 41 pounds, and I’ve lost more than twice that amount, and just carrying that amount felt difficult. To think I used to carry that around on my body every single day and then some.
I’ve lost 105 pounds as of today’s follow-up with my surgeon. He is an amazing doctor with the best bedside manner. He’s a nice guy, a cool dude, and someone that I wouldn’t even mind hanging out with. As negative and in-my-own-head as I’ve been about “only” losing a hundred pounds to date, he called me a rockstar and praised how far I’ve come. And he’s right, I have done a lot, I have come far, but make no mistake… I am going farther and I will be doing more. We talked today about what kinds of changes I can make to try to break this plateau, so I am trying out a modified version of intermittent fasting to see how that might help.
So I’ll update more going forward. And I’ll let you guys know my goals. I want to have a healthy BMI as stated before. I will do another 5K without my child involved so I can see my times & records going forward. And, this is kind of hard to even say out loud, but I think I might want to pursue being a fitness instructor of some kind in the future. After I hit goal, I am going to see if this is for me. But it’s an idea that’s been poking me all the time. If I can help or inspire others, that is a gift I want to be able to give people. This has been so hard, and so much work, but if I can dig down and do the thing, I feel like anyone can. I never thought this much could be possible for me, and here I am. I’m buying regular-clothes, not plus-sized clothes, in regular stores. Today I bought an outfit for the gym in just a regular XL size from TJ Maxx. My feet don’t swell any longer. My boobs shrank a little, but they still big. I fit comfortably like a “normal person” in the movie theater seats, in Broadway seats. I feel like a normal person now. I don’t feel like an outsider any longer…. I’m finally part of it all.
A Hundred Pounds Down. Can you believe it???
Thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way… friends, doctors, trainers, family, all the pushing to keep going and all the compliments honestly have fueled me more than you’ll know. Thank you.