Let’s talk about this.
What is Klout? Far as I am concerned, it ranks your internet popularity. It breaks it down into subjects that you are influential or knowledgeable about based upon analyzing your Twitter, Facebook or whatever else you give it access to analyze. I have a Klout of 49 points. I don’t expect to be popular, I never was. I’m the chubby unpopular girl in life and I am that on the internet as well.
But let’s talk about this list for a second….
I am influential about cookies. Why? I guess I like cookies. I can’t specifically remember waxing poetic about cookies on the internet. I like cake a whole lot more. Have I made cookies recently? No. What have I been making? A lot of Hungry Girl recipes. Hungry-Girl.com for lightened-up versions of foods. My fat ass is trying to be less fat these days. I re-joined Weight Watchers, I joined a Dr. Oz challenge and I’ve been going to the gym. Do not expect any valid information about delicious cookies over here.
I am influential about alcohol. This doesn’t surprise me. I like booze and I got an alcoholic bitch of a mom, so it all adds up here. My most recent foray into alcohol? I drank some Coppola vino at Maggiano’s Little Italy the other night along with a glass of Skinny Sangria. Both were delightful. Being influential about alcohol means I have a whole photo album called “Nadine Drinking” on Facebook. It’s true. Klout got it right with this one.
I am influential about babies. This….. no. I do not have a baby. Mom-bloggers keep adding me as friends on Twitter, though. I follow some mom-blogs because some people are funny and also remember they have a life and are an interesting person besides being a mom. For the most part, I am not influential about babies… I like one baby, Jaclyn’s daughter. She’s mostly awesome. One of her best features is that she is not mine and I get to live in a house without a baby. The other night, Mike’s mom asked “So is Caitlyn sleeping any better?” (also note this ties in with my previous klout on alcohol as it was a question nestled among the glasses of wine and sangria) I kind of thought about it for a second with a blank look on my face and pretty much said “I don’t know, all I know is that I’m sleepin’ fine at night, that baby’s teeth ain’t my problem.” When it comes to tiny humans, I typically have a DADT policy. Babies: don’t ask me about em, don’t tell me about em. I don’t really curr.
|Bitch ain’t even gonna argue about it.|
I am influential about Jersey Shore. This is a thousand percent accurate. I have a lot of strongly-formed insights and opinions about the Shore. Those Macaroni Rascals. I won’t go off on a tangent describing the many nuances of their ridiculous escapades, but I will say this: My favorite moment from the last episode of the Jersey Shore was when Jenni said that Snooki was acting like Sammi and just the look on Sammi’s face was priceless.
I am influential about cats. My cat Little Guy is my shadow, my best bud. I’m that chick twittering about her cat. I’m that chick with a Facebook Fan Page for her cat. I’m that chick posting videos of my cat. Yeah. Somehow, I am not a crazy cat lady though.
2 responses to “This is Incongruous.”
Very…very funny post. You are a funny Nadine. BTW, where are the rest of the Nadine’s for our club? Can we have a club with just two?
We need more Nadines. Nadines-with-a-Y need not apply. I’ll google “Nadines with blogs” later on and see if we can drum up some followers… I don’t know really what a whole group of us will do or accomplish, but maybe there is a common thread of being awesome that links us all.