In a court of car, the vehicle occupants are represented by two equal parties, the Driver and the Passenger. These are their stories.
- Ugh, where am I even going, I don’t even remember.
- I don’t even feel like I’m using my brain to navigate, I’m going on intuition like a goose in flight.
- (Gets behind the wheel) Ok, let’s drive this thing. Now which is the gas again?
- (Calling from a gynecologist’s office) I locked the keys in the car.
- (After getting co-worker to pick me up from the gyno) Oh, I forgot I had AAA.
- It’s near impossible to do the Macarena while driving.
- Where am I, none of this even looks remotely familiar? (about 5 miles from home)
- (boyfriend tells a joke, I’m non-responsive, then he nudges me) Leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep.
- Sometimes I try to see how far I can drive without using any blinkers. It’s a personal challenge.
- How am I even awake, this can’t be legal.
- I wish I had unlimited funds and a hundred cars so I could just crash into all these awful people.
- I was rapping really hard at these black guys, but I had the windows closed, so they don’t even know it was Will Smith and I looked pretty HAM.
- What do you mean “I’m driving on the shoulder?”
- Hey, lean over and smell my face real quick.
- Oh no, my drill! (discovering the drill I keep in the backseat took on water during Hurricane Sandy)
- What, sometimes I have to drill stuff… on the go.
- Uh, I missed the exit. (I didn’t even get to the exit) But things look so different….
- Yes, I have been listening to Billy Joel on repeat for 3 days. He’s a good driver, just like me.
I say a lot of things. I’m a good driver though I swear.
|Vroom Vroom mothafuckaaaaas!|