New Direction and My Best Good Friend

I’ve changed this blog’s name to Night Caffeine and I will write about more topics than just cooking and my struggles being a fatty trying to lose weight.  I’m sure I’ll still bitch about those things often enough too, because damn…

Why “Night Caffeine?”  I’m bad at thinking up things, and the only time I get all jacked up to do anything is when I drink a bunch of coffee in the evening, stay up stupid late and get a lot of ideas for ridiculous things.  Night caffeine is so awesome.  Getting coffee at 9:00 PM seems like a bad idea, because there is no discernible time when I will fall asleep, however FREE COFFEE!  I had a coupon for Quick Chek Harvest Spice coffee.  You’d think I’d go have some coffee during the daytime when I’m draggin’ ass and my will to live is -43.  In other coffee-related news, I really have to go try Starbucks Toffee Mocha.  So much yes.

So there ya go… expect more posts about other shit.  Whenever I sit down to write something, I go “damn what were all those good ideas I had?”  Now I’m writing down my ideas so I remember for later when I’m all hopped up on my NIGHT CAFFEINE, baby.

Jaclyn & Caitlyn – July 2010

Tonight’s YESCOFFEE project was hooking up a blog for my good, best, awesomest friend (hetero life-mate) Jaclyn.  She didn’t write anything yet, but her blog is  It’s gonna have stuff to do with parenting and not being a fucking weirdo about it, a.k.a. still being your own human being along with all the trials and tribulations of being a parent.  But cool.  Jaclyn is the best person ever, you will love her.  She is funny and she also has insight about things.  She could help you not raise a tardo if you let her.

Let me write some more about my best friend.  Perhaps that is what this post will be about.  Jaclyn and I have been BFFs since before saying BFF was even a thing.  So, since 1999.  It was our senior year of high school… and even though we had both known each other since probably middle school, we didn’t become friends until we had classes together in senior year.  In fact, prior to that, we both thought the other one was a weirdo.  My dad died in October 1999, and that was a really sad time, and it’s also right when we started being friends.  I would never have made it through that or any of the hard times in my life without her.

In high school, Jaclyn gave me a paper she wrote for our English class to type up for her, because I was good at typing and she wasn’t.  In the library, reading it as I typed I said “Wow, this paper is really good.  Don’t take this the wrong way, but I thought you were an idiot.”  Jaclyn is far from an idiot.  She is smart, but she had been really quiet in school and I don’t know I just thought she wasn’t smart for some reason.  We bonded over the fact we are both smart and sarcastic and could ridicule people without them even knowing it.  Sounds bitchy, but eh.  That’s kinda our thing.

April 2010

We have had so many adventures over the years.  There’ve been good times and bad, made up songs, about half a book of ridiculous quotations, Making the Rounds and the 1058’s.  Aside from being smart and funny, Jaclyn is also a really good friend.  She knows when I’m freaking out and how to soothe the beast.  She knows when to pacify me with baked goods and when to give me liquor.  Unrelated, this also makes her a great mom.  She has really good instincts and just knows what is right to do.  I always thought I’d have babies first, but I’m super glad that she did and that she will be a beacon of help and wisdom when my babytimes come.

Dying Easter Eggs 2010

We are a couple of weirdos together.  One time we were doing crafts at her house.  Painting a Christmas village, to be exact.  She suckered me into painting these tiny little houses for her.  It really sucked.  I liked crafts but I was working like a house elf painting these little stupid things.  We stopped for a snack, and I peeled an orange perfectly.  Like it all came off in one peel, you know?  That never happens.  I opened up to her about my secret wish.  I said “You know what I always wanted to do?  I always wanted to peel an orange perfectly and then glue the rind back together so it looks like an orange, but someone will be tricked when they go to eat it!”  She looked at me funny for a second, and then she got the crazy glue.  She wrote a note to her husband, who would inevitably try to peel this fauxrange and be confused, and put it inside my hollow shell of a citrus.  She put it back in her fridge and we just had to wait for the magic to happen.  He never tried to eat that orange… so that story kind of fizzled out, but you see what I mean.  We do stupid, funny shit together that normal people would frown upon.

3 Responses to “New Direction and My Best Good Friend”

  1. Carla

    You and Jaclyn sound so much like my hetero-life-partner, Dawn and I, complete with the sarcasm and soothing of the beast (or the wild boar as it is referred to in our relationship). If it weren’t for the whole having sex with another woman thing, we’d totally get hitched. So, we’ve made plans to get an apartment in on one of those fancy retirement communities. We’ll wear nylon sweatsuits, walk the mall, have dinner at 3:30 and drink wine together on our porch while bitching about something, I’m sure. Now, I’m getting all misty-eyed thinking about how awesome life will be in 50 years. Great friends like Dawn & Jaclyn are hard to come by. Not many people I know have that one person. We’re lucky!

    Congrats to Jaclyn and that totally squishable baby girl! I’m looking forward to her blog because, from the flowery description you gave, it’s right up my parenting alley!

  2. Nadine

    Yeah, that is pretty much what turns us off from lesbianism too, trying to jam two clams together just doesn’t work for us.

    Fancy Retirement Community sounds FABULOUS. Those are really sweet. I predict Jaclyn and I will play a lot of Bingo when we’re old. And now, if I ever make it to a bingo night.

  3. Rhian

    this post is awesome. i love the orange peel story lol

    Jaclyn seems just as fabulous as you, i didn’t even think that was possible


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