Just Have Some Toast.

“Just have some toast, please!”

I can still hear my dad saying that to me.  He was always very big on the “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” idea, and I was always in the camp of “I’d rather sleep than eat.”  He would yell at me in the morning as I was dashing out the door to just barely make it to school on time “PLEASE! BREAKFAST! AT LEAST SOME TOAST!”  I’d end up eating breakfast later, as I’d grab a bagel and Snapple on the way to school and eat it in first period band.

Eating in the morning is a chore.  A horrible chore that makes me nauseous.  I never understand people who wake up hungry.  Like you JUST WOKE UP how can you want to shove food in your gullet?  You didn’t even do anything to get hungry yet! Give me an hour, maybe I’ll have a yogurt and a fruit, but damn.  I’d rather use the time in the morning to sleep an extra few minutes than have a nutritious breakfast to start my day.

Jersey Breakfast.  No egg for me, please.

Another thing, I hate breakfast food and always have.  I do not like eggs, oatmeal, most cereals, porridge, fucking none of that.  I like only few cereals, and I’m mostly lactose intolerant.  I’m a fucking asshole and hate my body though, so I still drink milk and then cry when I have stomach cramps later.  Things I DO like for breakfast aren’t healthy.  French toast, pancakes, bacon, goopy fruit that goes on those things, taylor ham on a roll (If you don’t know what taylor ham or pork roll is, that’s ok – it’s mostly a Jersey thing)

When I have to be up all day and do things, as a part of a new healthy lifestyle, I’ve begrudgingly started eating breakfast.  Here are my go-to breakfasts:

  • Kashi Go Lean Honey Almond Flax cereal
  • Green Smoothie (spinach, milk, flax, banana and berries)
  • Yogurt parfait (vanilla yogurt, Smart Start cereal, berries)
  • Carnation Instant Breakfast (you’ll love it in an instant!)
  • Coffee with everything.  Coffee is so great and I love it.

When I was still getting up for work (oh hey, did you know I’m unemployed?  Let’s call me a Full-Time blogger/twitter jockey), I would get breakfast FOR FREE from the lobby of my apartment building.  My boyfriend and I live in a super sweet place that has a lot of PHAT amenities.   Yeah, I just said phat, perhaps I will bring it back.  Anyways, in the morning until 9:30, you can get oatmeal, fruit, muffins and yogurt ALL FOR FREE.  Along with the coffee and tea you can get daily until midnight.  So when I was being healthy and on-track, I’d grab a piece of fruit and a yogurt and a cup of coffee and I’d eat that when I got to work.  My coffee would be nice and hot, and I would drink that when I got about 12 miles away from home (I had a long commute).  When I was less-healthy, I’d grab a giant cheesecakey muffin.  At work, I’d share the bottom of the muffin with the dog. (THERE WAS A DOG IN MY OFFICE. AND I FED IT, SUCK ON THAT, OLD BOSS I FED YOUR DOG ALL THE DAMN TIME EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID NOT TO ASSHOLE)

Sleep till noon in a tiara. Don’t eat breakfast

Now I have found a way to still be healthy and not eat breakfast.  I just sleep till noon.  Then I have lunch in an hour.

But seriously… In an effort to try to have some kind of breakfast shit in my life, my twitter friend, @CarlaNordbrook sent me a sample of Shakeology in chocolate flavor.  I’m usually not in favor of diets that replace meals with some kind of shake or bar, but if it is one meal a day, and that meal is breakfast, count me the fuck in.  Shakeology is full of healthy things, lots of stuff from chia to flax and all kinds of ridiculously healthy stuff.  I can’t even get into it, look at the website – It’s full of nurtitions.  The taste is pretty good.  I made the mocha recipe which calls for 1 cup of cold coffee (I brewed my favorite, chocolate raspberry flavor), 1/2 cup milk, the shake mix and ice.  It tasted ok.  No weird diet-y or healthy tastes.  With all those nutrients and healthy things in it, I expected it to taste like vitamins and pond silt.  But it did not taste like either of those.  Would I buy it?  I would try it out for a month.  I’m not completely sold on it though.  Sure it is healthy, but I can buy Carnation Instant Breakfast at the store… But it’s an hour later, I’m not hungry at all so this thing IS satisfying.  So my verdict is that if I had some extra money hanging around right now, I’d probably buy some and try it out and see how it works.  Everything I do is an experiment anyways.

My review of Shakeology: NOT TOO BAD! Would buy some!  If you would like to buy some, go here and buy it.
(I do not have a formal rating system yet.  I think it ranges on a scale of THIS FUCKING BLOWS GIANT DONKEY DONG to THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME.  I will let you know when the scientific method behind my rating system is complete. Give me more shit to review and I’ll let you know.)

One Response to “Just Have Some Toast.”

  1. Carla

    I want to live in your apartment complex!

    I’m glad you tried it out despite the fact that I could have been a stalker and sent you arsenic. I really know how to sell myself, don’t I?

    I have to be honest and say that the first time I tried Shakeology, I was not impressed. I was like really, this is it??? Nah, I’ll pass. I’m not a Slim Faster or a Zone Bar meal replacement kind of gal. I like food, that I can chew. But a month later I was still doing my workouts each day but not eating very healthy and surprise, surprise, not really getting anywhere with my weight loss. So, begrudgingly, I said “Alright, I’ll buy the dang Shakeology, whatever.” Not sure if I was expecting some magic fairy to fly out of the bag and instantly make me thinner or what, but I had high standards.

    I’ve been drinking it for 4 months now, every day and I found my perfect recipe. I really look forward to it (ok, addicted might be the more appropriate term). It’s my restart button. If I have a day or three that I eat like the world is coming to an end, I feel like a shake washes away my gluttonous sins and I feel better physically and mentally. I’ve definitely lost more weight since I incorporated it into my plan.

    It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and the price can be tough to swallow all at once, I know. But, for me, I came to a place where I thought, I used to spend plenty of money on making myself fat, why not spend some change or making myself healthy?

    Thanks for trusting me enough to try it and giving an honest review of it. 🙂


Leave a Reply