I keep trying to think of something to write but I have nothing. Nothing funny going on, nothing interesting to do. So I guess I’ll tell you some stuff I’ve thought or did lately.
You ever have that dream that you’re back in high school? Somehow you messed up and didn’t graduate right and have to go back and do stuff over. I have a form of that dream pretty often. Last night I had a dream that I was me, a full-grown adult and living here the way I do, except my mom (issues ahoy) lived with me and I had to go back to high school. It was morning time and I was running late and had to get ready for school, then drop my mom off at work before I went to school. When I was getting ready and sitting on the toilet, I was looking out the window and saw a big owl poop out a little owl that was wearing a vest. So there’s that. The rest of my dream was me going to band class and being annoyed that I had to play Stars and Stripes Forever on the piccolo.
This morning in real life, it was Monday and I needed coffee like the desert needs the rain. I decided this week to stop splurging on buying coffee every single day because why not just sign my whole paycheck over to different coffee purveyors? So I made a pot of coffee, had two cups before I left and then filled my travel mug and went to work where I continued to make another pot of coffee and then I had every thought in the world, did so much work and then got shaky and dancey. It happens. Caffeine Apocalypse yields to no one.
Work has been awesome. I love my new job and I work with some great people. I’m going to mention right now in a non-racist matter of fact way that it is a small office and out of the 4 of us, besides the boss, the other two girls are black. Today I was working on something in the conference room when I heard “….(mumble mumble) is so stupid, I can’t even.” So I ask “Oh, who’s stupid?” and then one of the girls goes “black people!” and I’m like “I am so not getting involved in this.” One day they asked me a White Person question, and I am in turn allowed to ask (or ax) them Black People questions. They asked me “Why are white people so obsessed with Jon Benet Ramsey?” And I’m like count me out of that too. White people go fucking nuts when a white girl goes missing. I asked them a black question of “Is it true that white people smell like wet dogs when we come in from the rain?” and they said no. Whew!
Over the weekend I learned how to make pirogies with my family for Easter. It was awesome spending time with them and now I know how to make awesome delicious pirogies at home instead of just buying them. My cousin was hungry and he made a pirogie the size of his hand, like a calzone. He also thought it was clever to hide a finished bag of pirogies from us in my grandma’s room and had us all thinking we went nuts and just lost a bag of pierogies. Four pollacks wandering around the house looking high and low for missing pirogies… good times!
I don’t have much else going on quite honestly. Working, eating, sleeping and then on the weekends I throw a drink down my trap and mellow out. I need some zany capers.