Facebook Fuckery

I hate to admit that this is my nature, but I’m very snotty, catty and sarcastic.  I also suffer from an extreme case of “Just Don’t Give A Fuck” for which there is no cure.

When you couple that, my regular intolerance for foolishness with a hormonal time where I do not have the patience for any nonsense, you get a new breed of “iCant.”  Normally, I’ll read something on Facebook or Twitter and just say something snotty out loud.  I’ve gotten good at holding my tongue.  You know the phrase “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?”  Just because someone is writing it on Facebook or Twitter doesn’t necessarily mean they want my rusty two cents added in there.  I have so many opinions though!  It is so hard to see these people living their lives and me not intervening at all even in the slightest!  Sometimes I slip.

Like this comical exchange below… started out just as a funny comment, by me, to a friend…

Then enter… Let’s call him Wolfie since that’s what this dude is calling himself, amirite?  Believe me, it is not his Christian name, no sir.  He used to be a friend.  We’re not friends on Facebook or in Life because iCant.  Why?  He’s in his 30’s and thinks he’s a wolf, that’s why.  He’s the douche-b that will have his profile pic be Wolverine or like a car.  He is not either of these things!  We used to go to school together, but I stopped associating with him in our early 20’s even though he was still friends with several mutual friends.  I just didn’t like him and thought he was a ridiculous person.  That is a valid reason to not hang with someone.  Know what else is a valid reason not to hang with someone?  IF THEY’RE IN THEIR 30’S AND WEAR FISHNET SHIRTS AND THEY ARE A MALE, THAT’S WHY.  And the sideburns… CHILE YOU AIN’T WOLVERINE, STOP IT.  STOP.  THIS IS WHY VAGINAS WILL NEVER FLOW YOUR WAY.  Some people in life you want to give Life Interventions to, but that’s not often well-received.  You just have to walk away and make fun of them on the internet instead.

4 Responses to “Facebook Fuckery”

  1. Jaclyn

    You know I went immediately to Facebook to see who that was. And eww. Why are you even FB friends with him? I am not. Because… leprechauns and bad grills dude. And leprechauns WITH bad grills? I rest my case.

  2. Nadine


  3. Kizzy

    Omg, hahaha! “Excuuuuuse me, Wolfie!” lol

  4. Blake

    It’s funny, the wolf in question has me blocked so I didn’t even know who you were yelling at when you posted that. I’m glad I read this in context.


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